Congressional Notes

Note to my representative, Cynthia McKinney (D-GA):

This is a three-parter, actually. One: Don't hit. This is pretty basic. You learn it in elementary school if you haven't learned it at home by then. But especially, don't hit cops. And then really, if you're a public official, a lawmaker, respect the people who enforce it.

Two: Don't take money that's supposed to be used for office supplies and spend it renting human beings. That's fraud. That's waste. Be respectful of your constituents and of the rules of the body in which you serve.

Three: You serve on the budget committee. You serve on the Armed Services committee. Where's the money for smart development in District 4? Where's the money for a sound barrier to protect the values of the houses along US 78 where Georgia DOT has gone through and removed all the trees? Where's the money for this district, Representative McKinney? People sent you to Washington to take care of this district, and the only legislation I see that remotely does that is a bill to establish the Arabia Mountain National Heritage Area. That's nice, but hardly a solution for the many challenges facing the metro area.

You know what, this is a four-parter: The finishing thought on item three is that if you were a better legislator, people might be more inclined to support you in tough times. But then, if you were a better person, you wouldn't be hitting cops and wasting taxpayer money. And if you were a better person, you might be a better legislator. They're all connected. Or in your case, disconnected.

Note to Representative Tom DeLay (R-TX)

CNN and MSNBC are reporting that you're about to drop your congressional re-election bid just weeks after winning the Republican primary in your district. Is that some kind of parting fuck-you to the Grand Old Party, which maybe hasn't stuck up for you with enough spine, or does Tony Rudy's Friday guilty plea mean that the jig is up for you? Finally, undeniably.

Fox is not, at 10:55pm ET, reporting anything about you. Color me surprised.

Oh, but as always, you're going to be superlatively shady about it. Never mind about the parting shot comment.